Is the man i want worth the heart ache?

i have been with my bd 4 5yrs no. we broke up and i started to date a older man. I am 20 my bd is 25. the older man was old enough to be my dad. we broke up besides the fact he wasnt there when our child was born. he cheated on me told me about it and laughed in my face. he told me this so i would forgive him but he laughed and i left. we were already seperated at the time. now that weve gotten bak together i had to have an abortion and he thinks that i am in debt to him. he also has a daughter by an oc of mine that is 3 now