Why Does Everything Have to Die?

Its in my contract. I have to make sure things die, if they get old accidents, horror film charachters (except i have to bring them back to life when the movie airs on Tv thats kinda tricky). However the good news is i Make more then A-Rod and Paris hilton so im rich. And i get the privalege of taking peoples stuff after they die, still waiting on Senor Gates.